You say I love being alone and I’m withdrawn from society. You say I don’t socialize and I don’t talk much about my problems. You don’t know that I have mastered the art of seclusion, my mind is a place of great sorrows and heavy delusions
You cast me out of society; you expose my weakness for all to see, then you wonder why I am withdrawn and keep to myself, you then wonder why I am my own best friend, you wonder why I always look sad and about to crack. That’s because I’m fragile. Yes, the very world I call home turned my heart into a delicate package.
Sorrow is my middle name if not first, misery the surname, happiness, and I never had a fling, not even a glimpse. I wonder what it looks like. I mean happiness because I sure know what loneliness looks like; it looks like depression, like an abandoned soul. It looks like everything wrong and I would not wish it even on my worst enemy, it’s dreadful. I am sure happiness is the total opposite of all things loneliness and misery.
Every night I pray and ask the Lord to heal this void in my soul and replace it with endless joy. I am sure in happiness I will slay because I have long longed for it. In my mind, I have beautiful fantasies of me and happiness in our wedding attires, getting married. YES, I HAVE A DREAM AND A BURNING DESIRE TO MARRY HAPPINESS BECAUSE SHE WILL BRING AN END TO MY LONELINESS…BUT FOR THAT, I HOPEFULLY WAIT.
-Elias Dzimba Rufaro
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